Dearest Darling Friends,

– I am shy. I am at a loss what to speak with people.
– I get tongue-tied when I am with people.
– I cannot initiate a conversation with people. Is something wrong with me?
– How do I know how much to tell someone?
– Is it wrong to discuss personal details with other people?

To answer all the above questions, here are 8 levels of transparency in conversations.

LEVEL 1: Greetings: “Hi, how are you?” Smile. Nod. Move on.

LEVEL 2: Current topic: A quip or a question about traffic, the weather, or the current hot topic like the Corona Virus.

LEVEL 3: : Universally acceptable conversation starters

“Where did you get this great bag?”
“Are you enjoying your new phone?”
“Anything fun planned during work from home?”
“How are you keeping the kids occupied during these Corona holidays?”

LEVEL 4: Acceptable personal small talk:

Do you Netflix?
What do you think of Elon Musk saying college education is a waste of time?
Hats off to the doctors and the para medical staff. They are doing a commendable job, isn’t it?
What do you think of staying in the village at some point of time in your life?

LEVEL 5: Personal disclosures on likes and dislikes:

In the salon yesterday, an 18ish boy looked at me and asked, “UNCLE, is it your turn next? Gawwwd, I feel so old.”
I took my kids to the aquarium on Saturday and was mesmerized by the fishes. I could have stared at them for an hour.”
I went to Decathalon on Sunday afternoon. There was so much rush there. When I got home, I had to lie down to rest. Uffff”
I like you. You are a nice person.

LEVEL 6: Emotional personal issues:

I am having trouble with my son talking back–I’ve tried a few things yet nothing is working. I have no idea what to do next.
I have to make a presentation to the board and I am anxious to the pits of my stomach. I am wondering if I should call in sick and give up.
My husband just does not get it! He is just not hygienic. It’s stressful.

LEVEL 7: Vulnerable personal issues

I think I need to quit drinking.
I am overweight and think of low of myself. I hate myself
I didn’t have a great childhood
I really like you.

LEVEL 8: Baring your heart. No holding back.

“I’ve never said this to anyone before, but…”
“I can’t tolerate this any more. I want to give up and become free.
“I love you more than I thought I can ever love anyone.”
You may have conversations of Level 1-4 with anyone and everyone.

Level 5 is with people who LIKE you.

Level 6 is with people who are wise.

Level 7 and 8 is with people who are wise AND you can trust.

All the best.

With love, prayers and exceptional wishes,


Change your thoughts. Change your life.

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